Poetry Page Three
SEPTEMBER SKETCH
On crisp September sunrise mornings mist floats from farm fields
as grey-decaying, falling down barns stand stoically against the ages.
Ambling slowly from pasture to fence-edge
cattle play follow-the-leader,
their breath hanging in the cold morning air.
Backpack-laden, school-bus-waiting children
at end-of-driveway-shelters stand self-absorbed
in their own private world.
All along dew-drenched, empty county roads
once summer green corn fields have turned to autumn gold, their harvest taken,
their stalks ploughed into clods of brown earth
providing an unseen harvest for gulls and geese.
In September the sun shifts its path in the evening sky.
At infinity’s edge, where the water meets the horizon lake sunsets come earlier.
Wind ripples the surface of the fast running river
as salmon push their way in from the lake
towards the daunting dam.
Along the empty, wet-sand shore, waves wander in
with the wind to ruffle rocks at beach-edge
sending them clattering and clacking,
stone over stone smoothing and shining one another.
Summer has slipped into autumn.
Now northwest winds strip the colour from tired trees.
The serenity of September settles on Southampton
And Southampton sleeps.
I live within the borders of shifting seasons.
It is the gift of time.
I take it with gratitude and humility knowing it is given without debt.
Nice tribute to the season, Ed. I don’t believe I noticed even ‘one’ metaphor. Straight- really – down to earth. But then impersonal. Metaphor is perhaps necessary to portray feeling. In any case, for the last few days I have been reading the poems of Tomas Transtromer, who has just won the Nobel Prize. A Swedish poet. Perhaps you might be interested in his technique. All the best. Loreen.
poeticinteraction
October 8, 2011 at 8:15 AM
Thanks Loreen
But I don’t believe that ‘metaphor’ is always necessary to express anything. Words, if used properly, can summon an emotional feeling or create a mood or paint a picture.
Ed
metropolitanhomesickblues
October 8, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Just making my own observations, Ed; attempting to understand different techniques. Glad I checked in here. I’m always hopeful of a dialogue. But I think of Frost’s poems about the wall, and the road not taken. To me, each of these poems is one expansive metaphor that states it’s ‘case’ only indirectly. I’m attempting to see the difference between perception, and imagination; description, and images. There are subtle differences here at times between poems and poets, and I’m merely attempting to discern those differences. Good poem.
poeticinteraction
October 8, 2011 at 4:40 PM
I also thought I should return just in case there has been a misunderstanding. I have already told you how excellent I think your poetry is, Ed. I have been amazed at the effects that you get without the use of metaphor. This in itself is an inspiration. It’s just all those years of reading philosophy kicking in. I have just been trained to make distinctions, draw limitations, etc. etc. When I used the word ‘impersonal’ for instance this was not an evaluative, judgmental, normative statement. It was meant to be, like your poetry, descriptive. I am trying to understand whether the use of metaphor is indeed truly necessary to convey the personal, that is the indepth emotional or imaginative elements of consciousness. There is a difference between ‘summoning’ an emotional feeling as you said, and ‘portraying a feeling’. Your remarks about humility convey to me your stance, for instance, but they do not make me feel any sense of humility in the reading of them. But to make that distinction, and others like it is what my ‘critique’ was hoping to achieve. As I said, it was ‘merely my point of view’. But as for your poetry, I still believe it is exceptional. All the best.
poeticinteraction
October 9, 2011 at 3:02 PM
Your words form very clear, tranquil pictures in my mind. I can hear the wind and waves ruffle rocks, that’s my favorite line! Marty
Marty
October 8, 2011 at 11:46 PM